Time jokes
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
What season is it when you're on a trampoline?
Spring time!
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?
A: I find your lack of face disturbing.
Time is like a machine, it slows down when beaten.
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
You when you face the boss the first time: :)
You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(
You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(
You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:
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The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
If I had two nickels every time PETA parodied a game, I'd have 14.
You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
What's the second hardest thing in the morning?
The first hardest thing. 🍆
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
Morbius is definitely one of the movies ever made. One of the movies of all time.
I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.
Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.
Say "sukki" 10 times fast.
I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.