Time jokes
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?
Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.
Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?
A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
Is it just me, or can I see the Roman Empire from how far back your hairline goes?
Opal didn't hack RapBoat's account, she WAS RapBoat the whole time.
What is the best time to eat dinner?
When you're hungry.
I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!
It's called "The Bad Batch File!"
You will find your dad that left to get the milk before your hairline.
If someone says 67 one more time, I'll say 9/11 and swoop right under their feet like the Twin Towers.
Last week, I made a joke about leftists. Now it is time for me to take shots at the right, and then I will move on to centrists. But I just said the same thing twice.
You know the saying, "Third time's the charm?"
Well, Germany lost twice.
The terrorists suck at [something]. They lost two times to the Twin Towers? Like, how do you land so far from it? One of them landed in a field.
A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.
The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"
"What happened?" said the manager.
"A civil war."
To make tea, road, road, road, road.
Case.
The space of space, Der der.
The chosen week was chosen.
Object.
Der mezzer lakes.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.
When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”