Time jokes

I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.

When is the peanut butter due to arrive?

In a Jif.

Mommy is a YouTuber, she can never spend time with me.

Yo mama so fat the last time I saw 90210 was when she stepped on the scale.

Lucky for me I'm only 210.

You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.

A lot of the time he will take things for granite.

A lot of counter-offers were made.

There was a dino at the library today.

It was reading a thesaurus.

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.

2 times 4 equals 18?

Why don't Pakis play football? Every time they get a corner, they build a shop.

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good. He died during 9/11.

Morbius is definitely one of the movies ever made. One of the movies of all time.

What did Al-Shehhi say to Mohamed Atta?

"We are on time!"

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.

Say "sukki" 10 times fast.

Can February march?

No, but April may.

Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana.

"Back To The Future"-Doc: You can time travel to anytime in HISTORY, Marty, but NEVER go to the year 2021.....