Time jokes
What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All of them.
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Answer: The future.
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
What do you mean cook? We wait till summer.
"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."
Memes
Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
Friend: What goes up but not down?
You: Your age.
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?
A: I find your lack of face disturbing.
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
Man, everybody's birthday is this year! 🤦🏽♂️
What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?
This will take a ton of time.
A skele-ton.
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.
Say "joke" 5 times.
Oh, nothing happened.