Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
Time Jokes
Say "joke" 5 times.
Oh, nothing happened.
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
What season is it when you're on a trampoline?
Spring time!
Man, everybody's birthday is this year! 🤦🏽‍♂️
What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
This will take a ton of time.
A skele-ton.
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
What time should you go to bed when it's bedtime?
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
Watching paint dry sounds like a thrill compared to spending time with Slade.
It davving on the eons, broski.
When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
My grandad and your hairline go way back.
To make tea, road, road, road, road.
Case.
The space of space, Der der.
The chosen week was chosen.
Object.
Der mezzer lakes.
