Time jokes
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.
My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.
Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. 😂🤣🤣
It's that time of year again. 🎄🎅🤶🎄
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
Your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called "Burger Prince."
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
The last time your hairline connected was when George Washington was born.
Your hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back.
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
Your forehead is so leaned back you can see the dinosaurs.
Your forehead is so big it takes 3-4 business days.
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
Your mama is so fat.
She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D
Your hairline and forehead must be friends, because they go way back further than the universe.
Me and your hairline go way back, years and years.