Time jokes
Q: What is the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?
A: One is a good year, one is a great year.
Okay, the time has come... I am finally leaving this website, so yeah.
I'm going to enjoy my life, so yeah.
I'm going to leave now, so bye.
If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.
Hi Alex, it's 2:00 Easter time. Freshfry is a scaredy-cat. He left when you left, lol.
Teacher to Student: You are supposed to be here at 9 am!
Student: Oh, did I miss anything?
Memes
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Answer: The future.
What do you mean cook? We wait till summer.
What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All of them.
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"
I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.
"You think THAT'S bad?!? Remember the time I was in Paris with Donny de Francovich?"
"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."
Friend: What goes up but not down?
You: Your age.
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
Man, everybody's birthday is this year! 🤦🏽♂️
Say "joke" 5 times.
Oh, nothing happened.