One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
Couple of Bruises
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Explain Bear
Alright listen up, buttercup. The joke is funny because the person telling the joke is saying that he was only hitting the man's girlfriend a "couple of bruises" worth. "Hitting on" someone means flirting with them but "hitting" someone means to physically assault someone. It's funny because this dummy thought they were just flirting when they were really beating her up! I bet you thought the beating was foreplay, didn't you?