Time

Time jokes

Mama

Yo mama so fat...

That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!

Fat

You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.

Morning

What's the second hardest thing in the morning?

The first hardest thing. 🍆

Boss

You when you face the boss the first time: :)

You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(

You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(

You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:

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Memes

Time memes

Bruise

One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!

Nut

Have you seen the Justin meme?

Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?

Just-in time for deez nuts.

Bruh.

But actually, it's a parody.

Wait, actually?

Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).

Orphan

Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*

No one:

Literally no one:

Me: Time to make his life hell.😈

Shit

One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

Cake

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”

“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”

Emo

What do you call two emos spending time together?

Hanging out.

Twin Towers

I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.

First Time

When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.