Time jokes

2 7 73 53.

I'll give you time, figure it out.

What's the worst time to fly a plane?

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.

"Back To The Future"-Doc: You can time travel to anytime in HISTORY, Marty, but NEVER go to the year 2021.....

When is the peanut butter due to arrive?

In a Jif.

I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.

Mommy is a YouTuber, she can never spend time with me.

Q: What is the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?

A: One is a good year, one is a great year.

Okay, the time has come... I am finally leaving this website, so yeah.

I'm going to enjoy my life, so yeah.

I'm going to leave now, so bye.

Yo mama so fat the last time I saw 90210 was when she stepped on the scale.

Lucky for me I'm only 210.

I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.

You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.

A lot of the time he will take things for granite.

A lot of counter-offers were made.

"You think THAT'S bad?!? Remember the time I was in Paris with Donny de Francovich?"

Can February march?

No, but April may.

Hi Alex, it's 2:00 Easter time. Freshfry is a scaredy-cat. He left when you left, lol.

Teacher to Student: You are supposed to be here at 9 am!

Student: Oh, did I miss anything?