Time jokes
I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.
Okay, the time has come... I am finally leaving this website, so yeah.
I'm going to enjoy my life, so yeah.
I'm going to leave now, so bye.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.
"Back To The Future"-Doc: You can time travel to anytime in HISTORY, Marty, but NEVER go to the year 2021.....
What do you mean cook? We wait till summer.
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
"You think THAT'S bad?!? Remember the time I was in Paris with Donny de Francovich?"
Teacher to Student: You are supposed to be here at 9 am!
Student: Oh, did I miss anything?
What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All of them.
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Answer: The future.
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"
1 hour challengeeee.
Can February march?
No, but April may.
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
Man, everybody's birthday is this year! 🤦🏽♂️
Say "joke" 5 times.
Oh, nothing happened.
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
This will take a ton of time.
A skele-ton.