Time jokes

"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."

What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?

He kicked the bucket.

I don't have time to write this joke.

Friend: What goes up but not down?

You: Your age.

Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.

The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

Opal didn't hack RapBoat's account, she WAS RapBoat the whole time.

Is it just me, or can I see the Roman Empire from how far back your hairline goes?

Why do rappers take time to prepare for camping?

Tupac-in-a-tent.

Me and your hairline go way back, years and years.

What is the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.

My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.

One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.

And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.

And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.

The last time your hairline connected was when George Washington was born.

The short kid came earlier than I thought. Guess he came with such short notice.

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

Calendars got dates.

Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. 😂🤣🤣