They're jokes
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
What do astronauts 👩🚀 do when they’re on break?
They eat launch. 🚀🥪
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"
How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.
Why do orphans love a room of mirrors?\n\nBecause they're surrounded by loved ones!
Ugh, I hate anons, they're so anonnoying.
We shouldn't call gay guys "fucking cunts" because they aren't fucking cunts, they're fucking assholes.
If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!