They're jokes
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.
What do astronauts 👩🚀 do when they’re on break?
They eat launch. 🚀🥪
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"
Why are orphans never in jail?
Because they're never wanted.
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they're going to tell their parents.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
What type of people have the record of the most amount of stories read?
Emos, they're still in the air.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.
They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?
I am in trouble.
Why don't Mexicans like winter? They're afraid of ice.