They're jokes

What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?

An octopus.

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

Why can't dinosaurs talk?

'Cause they're dead.

Man, all these jokes suck. They're horri-puning.

"Look at these kids stealing ideas, bro. They're going to jail."

Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.

Me: They're certainly not wrong.

What do a tank and a warship have in common?

They're overweight.

Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.

Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.

I have always hated stairs; they’re always up to something. 👻

Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!

Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.

Teacher: Why not?

Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.

Why can't orphans go outside?

Because their parents can't watch them!

I had something about tripping over ice.

Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.

They're blooming a gay chicken.

Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."

I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.

My friend tried to sleep on napkins.

I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.

Why would you never donate to crabs?

Because they're shellfish!

Joe Rogan to Christopher Doemges: "What can you tell me about musicians of the 18th century?" Doemges: "They're all dead already!"

Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?

A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.

They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!