They're jokes
Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.
Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.
Why are orphans never in jail?
Because they're never wanted.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they're going to tell their parents.
Memes
What type of people have the record of the most amount of stories read?
Emos, they're still in the air.
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.
They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?
I am in trouble.
Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.
Why don't Mexicans like winter? They're afraid of ice.
You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
Why can't orphans have a big bag of chips?
Because they're family sized!
Why are ninjas' farts so dangerous? Because they're silent and deadly.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?
They're both Headless.
What do bubbles get when they’re sick?
The suds.