They're jokes
Why don't rappers ever gamble?
Because they're always dropping beats, not bets.
I bet you're a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw your roasts are not fucking funny, they're bullshit like your face and your hairline.
What do renovators and lesbians have in common?
They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.
Why are women like diapers?
They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.
What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"
I like to make your mom jokes.
Because they're easy like your mom.
Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they're all shellfish.
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
Why are most vacuums gay?
They’re always coming out of the closet.
Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
None of these are jokes... they're all facts!
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"