They're jokes
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
Why do orphans eat dry cereal for breakfast?
They're still waiting for their dad to come back with the milk.
Why do poor people eat insects?
Because they're locust!
Why are pirates pirates?
Because they're Arrrrrrrggghhh!!!
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.
I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
Why do Mexicans take Xanax?
Because they’re Hispanic attacks.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)
That's it, it wasn't a joke.
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Wanda and Daredevil have so much in common.
They both wear red, they're both in Marvel, and they both lost their Vision!
Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?
They’re never straight with you.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.