They're jokes
Why don’t clams like to share?
Because they’re very shellfish.
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?
They’re just two weeks to quit.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.
Me when I’m texting somebody and their spelling is so bad I can’t understand what they’re saying
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
Why do Mexicans take Xanax?
Because they’re Hispanic attacks.
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)
That's it, it wasn't a joke.
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
I like women's rights "jokes" because they're all facts.
Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.