They're jokes
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.
So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.
Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"
And I said: "They're the exact same thing."
Then they said: "But when did it happen?"
So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"
Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.
The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.
They’re always so twisted!
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
Why do orphans love chips?
Because they're all family sized.
You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.
Quit making plane jokes. They're just plane wrong.
Why are handicap signs blue? Because they're all Crips. (sorry)
Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
Why are gay guys so rude?
Because they’re fucking assholes.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?
They’re just two weeks to quit.
Why don’t clams like to share?
Because they’re very shellfish.