They're jokes
Why do orphans love chips?
Because they're all family sized.
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
Why are handicap signs blue? Because they're all Crips. (sorry)
Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.
Why are gay guys so rude?
Because they’re fucking assholes.
Me when I’m texting somebody and their spelling is so bad I can’t understand what they’re saying
Quit making plane jokes. They're just plane wrong.
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.
What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?
They’re both alone, but only one is home.
Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?
They’re just two weeks to quit.
Why don’t clams like to share?
Because they’re very shellfish.
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
I like women's rights "jokes" because they're all facts.
Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.