Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
They Jokes
Why can’t orphans learn about ancient Egypt?
Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
Why do orphans support slavery?
They finally have an owner.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.
Me: Wow, they found the body already?
Dad: :/
If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,
They would be alloys.
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.
Tbh they really left me hanging there.
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?
So that they can be wanted.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.
I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."
A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.
Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
Why should you be wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because when they spawned in a Minecraft world, all they got was plains.
Twin Towers ordered Little Caesars but they got jets.
I called a suicidal hotline in Iraq and they asked me if I could drive a truck.
If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.
