They jokes
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
Are your forehead and hairline old friends because they go way back?
Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.
Why are there only 362 days in an orphan's calendar? They don’t have Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Family Day.
Why can't Indians play baseball? Because every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
Why did the orphans have in common? They both don't have parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they will never get home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home plate is.
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
Why do they call it Ovaltine?
The jar is round, the mug is round, they should call it Roundtine.
My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.
Why do midgets giggle when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
A Mario & Luigi joke.
What are the Mario bros' view on child support?
Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.
Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
Why did the ducks go to jail?
They sold quack.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Who's the world's fastest reader?
9/11 victims. They went through 90 stories in 60 seconds.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."