They jokes
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.
Tbh they really left me hanging there.
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.
I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Why can’t orphans learn about ancient Egypt?
Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Memes
me when i realized that buildings don't make earth any heavier cuz all the materials were already used on it.
How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.
Me: Wow, they found the body already?
Dad: :/
So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
Why do orphans hate hide n seek?
'Cause they can't find their parents.
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,
They would be alloys.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?
So that they can be wanted.