They jokes

I hate it when disabled people get bullied...

... because they can't stand up for themselves.

Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.

What do women and pools have in common?

They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.

why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.

I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.

Tbh they really left me hanging there.

How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.

Enough with the Nazi jokes.

They make me führeious!

They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.

I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

Why can’t orphans learn about ancient Egypt?

Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.

When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.

“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”

Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."

So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?

Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!

What kind of music do wind turbines like?

They are big, heavy metal fans!

Why do orphans hate hide n seek?

'Cause they can't find their parents.

Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.

If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,

They would be alloys.

Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.

Me: Wow, they found the body already?

Dad: :/

Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?

So that they can be wanted.

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.

I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."