They jokes

So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?

Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!

If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.

Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.

Why do orphans hate hide n seek?

'Cause they can't find their parents.

Enough with the Nazi jokes.

They make me führeious!

When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.

“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”

They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.

I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.

Why can’t orphans learn about ancient Egypt?

Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.

What kind of music do wind turbines like?

They are big, heavy metal fans!

Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.

Me: Wow, they found the body already?

Dad: :/

If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,

They would be alloys.

why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.

What do lesbians do while having their period?

They finger paint.

I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.

Tbh they really left me hanging there.

What do women and pools have in common?

They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.

Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?

So that they can be wanted.

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.

I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"

So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"