They jokes

Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni but instead they got... Plane.

Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??

When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?

Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."

A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.

The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.

What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.

What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.

What’s the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?

They both died at 95.

A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.

The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."

In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."

Q: There were two tampons walking down the road the other day. Guess what they said to each other?

A: Nothing, 'cause they're both stuck-up cunts.

All orphans must be gay because they are not home o'fobic.

Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.

I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?

Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!

What's so special about bullets?

They do work after they are fired.

I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.

I don't like 9/11 jokes, they tend to crash and burn.

Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.

Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?

They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.