They jokes
This isn't even a joke, honestly. Rape victims bitch all the time, and they have a god complex. Hope they go through it again.
What do a priest and Life have in common?
They both get harder when kids are around.
When I tell people my girlfriend's packin', they always think she's really good with a gun.
She's actually transgender and on the waiting list for surgery.
What did Henry VIII say when he was asked to review Six the Musical?
"It was okay, but I really think they could have cut a few parts."
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with David Beckham?
They both dribble.
Why are batteries quicker than Stephen Hawking?
Because they can run out.
What do Humpty Dumpty and Ace from KISS have in common?
They both had a great fall.
Why did the paraplegic cross the road?
Because they didn't have any handicapped parking spots on his side.
What do pedophiles and guitars have in common?
They both fingered A minor.
Why were the Twin Towers mad at 9/11?
They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Why are there so few Arab soldiers? Because they always commit suicide on their first day.
Why are hurricanes like women? Because they come into your life, take nearly everything, and leave.
What does a kid at Epstein Island and MAGA supporters have in common?
They both can't get Trump's dick out of their mouth.
A German, a Swiss, and a Russian make a bet: whoever has the most forest area in their country wins about 10,000 euros.
First, they fly over Switzerland: 8,000 square kilometers of forest. The German starts getting cold feet, as he doesn't think he'll win. Next, they fly over Russia: 50,000 square kilometers of forest. The German realizes he doesn't stand a chance unless he cheats.
When they fly over Germany, they see 10,000 square kilometers of forest. The German seems to have won, but then the Swiss shouts: "That's a tree!" The German was accused of fraud.
The German is furious. He calls the head of the Bundeswehr: "Why did the tree move?!" The boss said, "I'll put the guy who moved on the line," and passed the receiver over.
"Why did you move?" the German asked.
The young man replied: "Okay, when a dog came along and peed on my trunk, that was still fine. But then a bear came along and rubbed against my trunk..."
Dating a German is great because they don't play mind games; they just provide a detailed, 40-page PDF explaining exactly why you are wrong.
History is mostly just a list of things men did while women were busy making sure they didn't die of scurvy.
If you’re bored, just punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why are people that have bipolar disorder never on suicide watch?
Because they are always sucking dick.
I love vegans because they save more meat for us.
What do Woody and Hitler have in common?
Their bodies go limp before they get caught.