What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.
They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!
Q. Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians? A. He thought they tasted funny.
What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?
The Jew World Order.
When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
Why should you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
What do lesbians do while having their period?
They finger paint.
They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.
What does a ginger do when they want to high five a friend? They clap.
Ever tried African food?
Neither have they.
Jokes are like Indians.
They never die, they just get reincarnated.
Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."
Why do girls only stay in odd groups of friends?
Because they literally can't even.
Why are pirates named pirates?
Cuz they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
What does a Jew expecting guests say?
"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"
An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.
It's quite obvious to each of the three men where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you, do you? This is my seat, after all."
The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"
The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are, and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know it's going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a Coke!"
The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to where the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a Coke.
Then the other Pakistani says, "You know what brother? I would also like a Coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a Coke.
Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each other's shoes and peeing in each other's Cokes?"
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
