Tell jokes
My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.
He can tell the future.
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.
Memes
I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
How do you make an emo jump? Tell him to go to the roof.
What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:
"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"
I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul.
Nobody got it.