Tell jokes

"Jimmy Jimmy, Yes Papa,"

"Give away my Money, No Papa,"

"Telling Lies, OK, Ima Check my Bank Account."

Dad: Johnny, Johnny?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Getting women?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Telling lies?

Johnny: No, Papa.

Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!

What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:

"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"

When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,

The present: Laundry.

*gunshot*

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,

he is my only motivation for trying again.

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.

Doctor: Oh, I see.

Me: Ahhhh!!!!!

You know why eggs can't tell jokes?

They crack each other up!

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Q: How do you punish a blind person?

A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.

Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"

Brayden: "Hey!"

*Music roles around*

*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*

Brayden: "O_O"

Hailey: *Hides*

So sad </3 xD

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

I don't like telling nine eleven jokes, because they always crash and burn.

What does 6 tell 7?

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"

I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.

When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"

Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?

A: All the good guys are hung.