Tell jokes

Why is it okay to make fun of orphans?

Because they can't tell their parents.

I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.

(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!

(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*

(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*

At this moment, he knew he fucked up.

I'ma tell these to my adopted sister.

If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.

The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"

One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"

Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."

"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"

"Maybe it was a tricycle."

"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"

The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"

Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."

That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"

Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"

Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."

Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"

My name is Gwen, and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing. Also, they're getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say, please do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay; I want to hear what you say. Just tell me if they are not funny.

We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying they're good and funny, or people saying they're bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.

A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.

To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."

He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.

If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?

A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."

"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"

"We're going with Trevor."

"Ok, what if it's a girl?"

"Then we'll have an abortion."

What's the best way to get a man to confess to a rape?

Ask him to tell a rape joke.

How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?

One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.

If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?

I was really rooting to tell that one.

How do you keep a blind kid entertained?

You take him to a stadium crowd, then give him a bat and tell him to hit the piñata.

Why do I tell bad jokes?

I'm a lesbian.

My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.

I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.

Guys, we gotta stop telling these jokes. They are getting out of h- oh wait no .... Continue.

Yo daddy so stupid, he threw a Father’s Day party at the orphanage.

What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? Let’s us prey.

I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.

Me: I just shot an orphan.

Mate: You can’t do that!

Me: What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?