Tell jokes

Don't believe what your school bully tells you.

Always take it with a grain of assault.

What is a cannibal's favorite place to go? An orphanage. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.

Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?

Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?

Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!

You: Why? I don't have any.

It is now legal to bully an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.

Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.

Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.

Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!

Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.

Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!

Sans: Yea bro.

Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.

You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?

Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

Normally I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it’s two plane.

Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)

Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.

Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?

Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?

When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.

What's the definition of rude?

Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

Little Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher said, "Okay, everyone, tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet." Johnny didn't know the alphabet, so he decided to ask his family. He walked into the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mama, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV, and he says, "Tommy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman." So he went to his grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him, he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher comes to Johnny, she says, "Johnny, what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now," Johnny says. "Who do you think you are, young man, to talk to someone like me that way?" the teacher asks. "I'm Batman," Johnny says. The teacher whups his ass, and little Johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"

Later that day, he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse, that he accidentally cussed at his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.

What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?

Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.