Tell jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
It is now legal to bully an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
Cops have the hardest job: they have to tell women they have the right to remain silent and know damn well she will not have the ability.
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!
You: Why? I don't have any.
Why can orphans stay out until whatever time?
Because their parents won't tell them when to come home.
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Normally I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it’s two plane.
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!
Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.
Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!
Sans: Yea bro.
Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)