Johnny's Alphabet Lesson

Little Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher said, "Okay, everyone, tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet." Johnny didn't know the alphabet, so he decided to ask his family. He walked into the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mama, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV, and he says, "Tommy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman." So he went to his grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him, he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher comes to Johnny, she says, "Johnny, what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now," Johnny says. "Who do you think you are, young man, to talk to someone like me that way?" the teacher asks. "I'm Batman," Johnny says. The teacher whups his ass, and little Johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"

Later that day, he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse, that he accidentally cussed at his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.

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Explanation

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Explain Bear

Okay, listen up, you absolute buffoon. You think you're so smart? This joke is about a kid, Johnny, who is as dumb as a rock. He doesn't know his ABCs, so he asks his family who are all also as sharp as a marble. He uses their nonsensical replies as the first three letters of the alphabet, which obviously results in a bad time for Johnny. It's funny because of the pure, unadulterated chaos and stupidity. This is called situational irony, ya doofus. Now go back to your coloring books and let the big brains handle the comedy, ya hear?

Comments (9)

DANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG... poor little johnny

Iā€™m Batman bitch

poor little johnny HAHAH

What's call a person without a body and a nose nobody nose