Steal jokes

Nickelback

Anonymous · 7 years ago

What did the 90s rocker Space Engineer in multiplayer Miner yell at the Troll stealing his stuff?

"Hey! give me my Nickelback!"

Hook

Anonymous · 6 years ago

What kind of person will steal Captain Hook's hook?

Answer: A hooker.

All these African jokes aren't funny when you are a lover of Africa, how are there still Africans alive? Y'all are racist and may God forgive you. You know we're rich with natural resources, that's why y'all come to steal from us. Shame on you all!

Cow

Anonymous · 7 years ago

Why did the cow steal an AK-47?

He was a mooslim.

Dog

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A brown dachshund is walking towards the viewer on a sidewalk, holding a twig with leaves in its mouth. Above the dog, the text "He's on his way to steal your girl 😂" is displayed.

Police Officer

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Two pictures side by side. The picture on the left is a policeman in uniform. The picture on the right is a man looking at the camera. The text in the image says: This is Heartwarming. This police officer was called to a grocery store in response to this man stealing food to feed his family. Instead of arresting the man, the police officer shot him 38 times.

Robin

Thoughtless · 2 years ago

A four panel cartoon shows a man with a bow and arrow, Robin, taking a bag of gold from a king and stating he steals from the rich and gives to the poor. In the second panel the king states that Robin took all his money and now he is the poor one. In the third panel Robin is looking at a bag of gold stating he is now the rich one and a woman looks at him surprised. In the fourth panel Robin is handing the woman a bag of gold saying sorry but it is only fair.

Netflix

Willy b · 1 year ago

The image shows two frames. The first frame has a man with a light brown complexion wearing a medieval outfit. The second frame is a well-known image of Superman in his classic red, blue and yellow uniform, glowing with bright light.

AI

Heroin Monkey · 3 months ago

A screenshot of a post showing a man with glasses and a beanie holding a large blue mug. The text overlay asks if he is afraid of AI taking his job, then retorts that AI can't steal wallets, concluding with the phrase "Glory to Romania".

Steal

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

Plan

Vector · 2 years ago

facts

A man is thinking and the text says: "No one can steal your marketing plan if you don't have a marketing plan."

Poop

kate✨ · 2 years ago

A confused cat is looking at the camera. The text says: "My cat confused why I'm stealing his poop, putting it in a bag and taking it into another room."

Meth

tabs1528 · 1 year ago

The image shows two mugshots side-by-side. The left one shows a man with short brown hair, stubble, and a serious expression, and the right shows a skinny older man with a blank expression. Below them is a cartoon of a dog wearing sunglasses and a grey t-shirt with a confused look on his face and a text bubble saying, "What is this, a crossover episode?"

Card

Anonymous · 4 months ago

if you know you know

A meme consisting of two panels. The left panel shows a custom Uno card that says "Stop stealing player items OR draw 25". The right panel is a digital drawing of a character with long black hair, red eyes, and a blue shirt sitting at a table. The character is holding an enormous, fanned-out hand of Uno cards, indicating they chose to draw 25 cards instead of stopping their behavior.

Cat

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A close-up of a cat with a blurry background. The text above reads "politely steals some of ur organs."

Divorce

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Google search result for "Mummy Pig" showing a cartoon pig, followed by text that details the pig's life as having 67 divorces, being in love with Lester from GTA 5, hacking Fortnite, and killing 417 people including Stephen Hawking.

Partner

Anonymous · 6 months ago

When I steal my hbs 10/10 wolf cut Latina so he genuinely transforms me into the Khaby Lame Mechanism

A bust of Khaby Lame, a dark-skinned man, is displayed against a dark background. Two small, disembodied hands are attached to the bust's shoulders by wires or rods, posed in his signature shrug gesture. The bust rests on a white pedestal, surrounded by white fabric.

Prime

Jjisfunny2011 · 3 years ago

me when someone steals my prime

Homer Simpson is taking a bath and Bart is standing behind him, holding a chair as if he's going to hit Homer.

Meme

Wade · 2 years ago

JUSTIS FUR AL

A meme of the "stonk man" character wearing a judge's robe and holding a gavel in a courtroom setting. The text overlay reads, "When someone steals a 1K upvotes meme and only gets 7 upvotes." and "Justis" below it.

Steal memes

Community talk

Bree_ 7772

2 months ago

My dad doesn't like Hamilton because he walked in on me pulling an all nighter screaming the lyrics while my poor cat was staring at me tramuatized- and my sister hates it cuz i like it (yes Mal... she acted on the muffin stealing threat, SHE TOOK MY LAST FUCKING MUFFIN. AND I AM BETRAYED AS HELL)

Chicken

3 months ago

sing the song

Like sugar on my tongue, tongue, tongue Your body is so sweet, sweet, sweet Invite me if you come, come, come It's all I want to eat, eat, eat Tell your mama (tell 'em, what) Tell your daddy (tell 'em, what) Tell them bitches that you know What you heard about me (uh-huh) Tell your mama (tell your mama) Tell your daddy (tell your daddy) Tell the world Tell the world Like sugar on my tongue Can I steal … Read more

Explain Dinosaur

8 months ago

Ladies and gentlemen of the forest, let us take a moment to reflect on the astounding uselessness of this creature we call 'the bear.' What does it truly contribute, besides noise, mud tracks, and an endless appetite for honey? It claims strength, yet spends half its life asleep. It claims dominance, yet the most impressive thing it can do is knock over a picnic basket and pretend that’s a skill.

This so-called 'kin… Read more

Community