Steal jokes
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"
To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."
Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."
The police said "How old are you?"
Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.
When the police caught him stealing batteries, he was immediately charged.
The cops are accusing him of resisting. He's now languishing in a cell, where he is currently awaiting an appearance in Circuit Court.
What's so wrong about Trump being in office?
He steals all the cats.
Why do white people colonize everything?
To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.
me when someone steals my prime
Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they'll steal all the green cards.
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
Why did the cow steal an AK-47?
He was a mooslim.
All these African jokes aren't funny when you are a lover of Africa, how are there still Africans alive? Y'all are racist and may God forgive you. You know we're rich with natural resources, that's why y'all come to steal from us. Shame on you all!
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
How do you turn rape into no rape? Steal her bank details for money transfer.
To the guy who stole my depression medication,
I hope you're happy.
How did black people learn to steal sports cars?
By playing GTA nonstop.
Rapboat steals more rhymes than black people steal cars.
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.