Steal jokes
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.
What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.
Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.
This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.
To the guy who stole my depression medication,
I hope you're happy.
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Greg fucking steals toes!
Why did the baseball player go to jail?
Because he stole first base.
When the police caught him stealing the batteries, he got immediately charged!
A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
Why are Mexicans good at Uno?
They always steal the green card.
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
My friend dared me to steal my other friend's watch. I tried, but failed. He really got me, dare.
When did the cheetah steal from the bakery?
On Black Friday!!!
So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"
One day I was very happy. I managed to win the lottery and receive a free vacation trip to Saudi Arabia!
Everything was going well until suddenly the FRAUD appeared! It was him, PRISTIANO PENALDO! He dived toward me and grabbed my lottery ticket. I asked him why he is doing this, only for him to reply "I need trip to Saudi Arabia to statpad the PENS!" as he dived back through my window.
Shame on you for stealing my vacation and ruining my day! You are no longer my Idol Pristianooooo!
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
Why are people so good at basketball? They can run, steal, and shoot!
Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.