Steal

Steal Jokes

Cheese

What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?

"That's nacho cheese!"

Wheelchair

Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.

Orphan

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

Difference

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

Orphan

Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?

Because no one wants him.

Christmas

What is the true meaning of Christmas?

Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.

White people

Why do white people colonize everything?

To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.

Money

Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.

Buddy

Anonymous 1: Why are you crying?

Anonymous 2: No, buddy, come to my finral.

I didn't steal it. 🌚

Language

I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"

Kid

"Look at these kids stealing ideas, bro. They're going to jail."

Kid

I bought an anti-bullying wristband. I say I bought it; I stole it off a fat ginger kid.