The 90+ Best Steal Jokes

To become a licensed, airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.

why is the thief so good at basketball? because he can shoot, steal, and run

What do you get when cayden steals your sandwich a nuckle sandwich

why was the dog stealing shingles?

he wanted to be a woofer

Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket? -- He was stealing all the samples.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church. You follow him in and under their breath it sounds like somebody says you steal and you say in your mind knowing you have before I’m sorry then somebody caughs and under their breath it sounds like they say again you steal so you whisper quietly I’m sorry... ...then somebody in German says shoot that son of a bitch

Why do people not play uno with Mexicans... because they are always stealing the green cards

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

What's the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?

The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."

To the guy who stole my depression medication, I hope you're happy

When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm and I asked her what she was doing and she answered "Oh I had to buy you so I don't steal you"