Steal

Steal Jokes

To become a licensed, airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.

I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van if you touch my van I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan if you steal ice cream I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine

Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church. You follow him in and under their breath it sounds like somebody says you steal and you say in your mind knowing you have before I’m sorry then somebody caughs and under their breath it sounds like they say again you steal so you whisper quietly I’m sorry... ...then somebody in German says shoot that son of a bitch

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

What's the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?

The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."

9

When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm and I asked her what she was doing and she answered "Oh I had to buy you so I don't steal you"

My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut. We got his EpiPen to help him when penaldo appeared because he heard the word PEN. He tried stealing the pen but I said "no pens for you". And “brentford”.He cried and ran away. Shame on you penaldo the fraud.