Chicken

Smol bean

If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.

Train

acyfarmer

To become a licensed, airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

Puns

Anonymous

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Shooting

Anonymous

why is the thief so good at basketball? because he can shoot, steal, and run

People

Anonymous

Why do people not play uno with Mexicans… because they are always stealing the green cards

Music

Anonymous

Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket? – He was stealing all the samples.

Time

Person

Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months.

Battery

Teleman

When the police caught him stealing the batteries he got immediately charged !

Sandwich

Anonymous

What do you get when cayden steals your sandwich a nuckle sandwich

Name

Anonymous

A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money. Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole. The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money. The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money you worthless old fart.”

Woman

My Name is Classified

What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?

“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”

Rock

Anonymous

When you steal the weird pet rock so he pulls out his pet glock

Girlfriend

Anonymous

Who do you call someone that steals his brothers girlfriend and disowned by his whole family? Brandon

Bad

Anonymous

Why did the baseball player get arrested. He tried to steal third

Puns

Antifreeze

How do you make antifreeze You steal her blanket

Sister

PrettyPasaska

Me:Sister STOP STEALING MY STUFF OR I WILL MAKE U FEEL BAD Sister:No I wont stop Me:Fine im telling the world what u did Sister:What you will see when i post it Sister:WHY DID U TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD ME:BECAUSE U DON´T HAVE A LIFE

Funny

Anonymous

All these African jokes ain’t funny when you are a lover of Africa, how are there still Africans alive? Y’all are racist and may God forgive you… You know we rich with natural resources that’s why y’all come to steal from us… Shame on you ALL

Puns

Chkn Nuget Dino

If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft LOTTO?

Space

Anonymous

What did the 90s rocker Space Engineer in multiplayer Miner yell at the Troll stealing his stuff?

Hey! give me my Nickelback!

Man

GameOfScones

A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.

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