Sleep jokes

It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"

What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!

Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"

Why do shepherds never learn to count?

Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.

What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?

"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"

Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."

Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."

Last night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.

1 like = 1 kid in the bed with me.

I slept like a log last night... woke up in the fireplace.

Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."

Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"

Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."

Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"

Dad: "That isn't the remote."

*Weird background music*

What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?

Pigs in a blanket.

Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?

Son: Sure thing, dad!

Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!

Son: I don't get the joke, dad.

Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.

There was a kidnapping, but he woke up.

Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.

A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?

On the COWch (couch).

What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?

He puts his PJ-Amazon!

Me: Good night, everyone.

My friends and family: Night.

Me: *gets in coffin*

My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?

My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.

What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?

A knight knight.

Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.