A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him wheres your mom and he cried. Why?
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed Thanks for coming
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored I draw on my hands with pen, well this guy walks up to me and says “ you know I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself” and so without thinking I said “ well I’ve already got those so I think I’m fine.... 😳he looked concerned. Oops lol
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery story. The young boy then screams to a random woman “ your an ugly bitch”. The mother grabs her son, and says “ I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look.
there are perks to bringing a emo to the grocery store you can get coupons by scanning their wrist
My wife (or husband) told me to get 6 cans of Sprite from the grocery store. I had just realized when I got home that I had picked 7-up
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom. He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store". But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19 yr old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?". Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing." Johnny says, "Oh." "But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P
Young Couple gets banned from church.
There were three couples, one elderly, one middle aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.
After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!"So the minister welcomes them to the church.
Then he asks the middle aged couple the same question "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.
Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.
"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."
"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"
"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."
Yo mama so stupid She starved in a grocery store
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?
He kept dropping the BEETS
Shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store. He was asked to give an EGGsplanation.
my 14 year old daughter went shopping at grocery story - she gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist , - the cashier scanned it and replied with " ma'am this item is worthless "
Q: What is hitler's least favorite grocery store? A: Jew-Osco
My disabled dad went to the grocery store
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him
Finally he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle
What happens when an emo goes to the grocery store The cashier scans there wrist to
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store?Silly daddy
one day i seen a little boy walking in the grocery store so i asked if he was ok and he said yes i asked where his parents were and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk isle
