Kid: " Mom I had a scary dream can I come sleep with you and dad " Mom: " sure sweetie sleep in the middle " Kid: " Dad can you get the remote out of my back " Dad: " That isn't the remote "
*Weird background music*
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-" me: power button
I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.
What is the difference between an Isis training, camp and a school?
Not sure I just fly the drone
So I was watching tv right? then i f..ing got banged in the eye with either a remore or metal tongs "wtf"
Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "you forgot the remote"
what do you call a suicide bomber in a weelchair?
an rcxd (remote control explosive)
Why did billy kill himself with a tv remote? He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
A FED EX plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa but the cargo door wasn't shut properly but only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?
Time's up! You took too long you only had 4 seconds to answer it.
How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.
Why did sally fall off the swing?
Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.
How did she survive?
Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off. But she was rescued 8 minutes later.
Batteries batteries who the batteries in your remotes and everything else you got in your house is turned upside down
Your mum is so fat when she reached for the remote and when she found it it was crushed
Yo mama's so stupid when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
One day I went to talk to my friend. "Hi John!" I said. No response. "Oh yea." I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button. "Hope that helps."
yo mom so fat i went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch tv
so i asked for the tv remote and shes still trying to get it
What did the walrus say when they lost the remote......Walrus the remote
1,2 u bulet like a dork 3,4 u got no girl,4,5 ur shorter then a remote
why did the school go remote because the teachers wanted to play with remotes
