Show Jokes

I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales"

Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the show?

Because he wanted to drop some FLY VERSES

I was doing a magic show, i tried to make a bunny disappear but it didn’t work. I walked outside in shame, i looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

2 magicians were in a competition the first one did magic and the second started counting down 3 2 but before he said the last number he 1

I tried to right the shortest joke ever, so I wrote a two word joke, which was Dwarf Shortage. its just so I could pack more jokes into the show.

aunt: on internet buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars neice: i found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch its 3 dollars to watch aunt: im not paying for that shit neice: yet u sit there and buy weight loss pills

Have you seen the Woody Allen v Mia Farrow series on HBO? If you like details about child molestation without having to do it yourself, boy do I have the show for you!

A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat. The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools the hat was covering the hips

A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live." The man says " 10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?" The doctor calmly replies "Nine"

A middle eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show, he starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”

Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a padophile however I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8 year olds


A woman went out on a date and said “I’m thirty one with the body of a sixteen year old” the man responded “wanna show me?😏” the woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “take a look”

what do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?

showing them the ropes.