Show jokes
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.
Kids changing the channel to Annie.
Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.
TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.
Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!
Sex is like show and tell: you show your pussy and dick, and then you tell each other how you feel.
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
What was the orphan's favorite cartoon show?
"Fairly OddParents."
You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?
Boss: You're fired!
Me: Ok?
Worker: Why are you fired?
Me: Oh, you wanna know...
*shows him the oven with my pizza*
Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!
Worker: OH SHIT!!
Boss: Did you say pizza?
Me: I sure did!
*shows boss pizza in oven*
Me: This hoe black as fuck!
Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
Hi guys, jokes for sister.
So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.
Wanna me to show you a joke?
*Points at face* Funny, right?
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
What's a tree's least favorite TV show? Chopped!
So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.
My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.
But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.
So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him.
When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?
"Can you show me what rape is?"
What's an orphan's most hated show?
The Fosters.