Cup Jokes

in British

What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.


Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.

in Yo mama

Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.


what do you call a sad cup of coffee? Answer: Depresso

in Mug

what do you call a cup with a handle?

a mug! HAHA ha... my parents just got a divorce :(


A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"

The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."

in Puns

What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler

in Baseball

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’


What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions???

Answer: Expresso!!! (KILL MEH)


me and my friend were roasting each other she : you look like a reese's cup me:your so old your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray

in Trash

How does Moses make his cup of tea Hebrews it

in Eye

A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea his eye hurts ,the doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink ... when he finished the doctor told him : from now on take off the spoon.

in Sport

What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.

in Little Johnny

Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it a genie came out and said "You have 10 seconds to have one wish". Little Johny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink she says, "We should have this every night!". Little Johny gets two cups every night one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight".

in Puns

Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “ you’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup”

/{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discus courses of action, and collection." End of log\

in Puns

22 ants were playing football in a saucer. One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”


I've been drinking from a tall cup his teeth look like twin towers al-Qaeda Blown him up

in Website

this is a cuphead joke. Why did the clown drive over the cup? cuz he wanted to CRACK him up!

Woman gets pulled over by a cop Cop: ma'am have you been drink Lady: no officer Cop: what's that in your cup then ma'am Lady: just water officer Cop: looks like wine to me Lady: oh my god Jesus did it again