Cup jokes
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."
Yo mama so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
I suck on cups so START RUNNIN' CUPHEAD!
How does Moses make his cup of tea?
He brews it.
What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions?
Answer: Expresso! (KILL MEH)
How does a rapper make tea?
He drops some HOT BARS into a cup.
What did the water say to the cup?
"Good day!"
What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.
Your hairline looks like something that came off the bottom of a Reese's cup.
Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.
I've been drinking from a tall cup.
His teeth look like Twin Towers, Al-Qaeda blown him up.
Spell "I cup."
I C U P
You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.