Queen Jokes

Anonymous

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

8
Anonymous

Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.

Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.

4
Anonymous
in Animal

What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? Beehive Yourselves!

#awesome
in Tea

what type of tea do you drink with the queen of england?

royal-tea

Anonymous

Why doesn’t the US wanna play chess with the UK?

The US is already down 2 towers and the UK has a unkillable queen.

Anonymous
in Cow
  • What do you call a feminine cow

-A dairy queen

Anonymous

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS”

Crazy Cat Lady
in Democrat

My Cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her. She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my Cat is a Democrat!

Daniel King
in King

What does a queen 👸 want on her cookie 🍪?

Royal Icing.

Queen Boberta

I would tell u a joke about ma dink but its to long

Why does us suck at chess? we lost both our towers. Why is england so good at chess? they still have their queen. Why does russia suck at chess? they only have pawns

The American

3 people explored the jungles, one was was France, one from Britain, and the other from America. While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three “You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However we aren’t that heartless so we’ll let you choose your deaths.” So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head and said “Viva la France” and shot himself. The Britain guy requested for poison and said “For the queen” and drank the poison. Lastly the American asked for a spoon, the tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself “Try make a canoe out of this one!”

7
Anonymous

Q: how did burger king get diary queen pregnant A: he forgot to wrap his whopper

Why is the queen the most powerful piece in chess?

Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.

Anonymous
in Puns

where do do dairy queen and burger king go after dinner? white castle

A Good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.

Alex

What’s a queen’s favorite drink? Royal-tea!

Johnny f...face

Why did dairy queen and burger king get arrested for copywrite infringement? because they gave birth to five guys.

Anonymous
in Rock

What is a cats favorite Queens song… Don’t stop meow

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says “Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die.” The man from France said, “bring me the poison.” The man from Britain said, “bring me the gun” And the man from New York said, “bring me a fork” The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS”