Queen jokes
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.
Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?
Because she ran out of immortali-tea.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.
The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.
The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.
And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
Today I heard someone playing "Dancing Queen" on the didgeridoo.
It was very Abba-riginal.
England: No towers?
America: No queen?
England: Remember 1812?
America: No tea?
Hey, Britain, no queen? :(
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
Why can't England play chess?
Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.