Queen Jokes

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.

The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.

The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.

And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

Why are Americans bad chess players?

They lost two towers.

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.

- What do you call a feminine cow

-A dairy queen

Why doesn’t the US wanna play chess with the UK?

The US is already down 2 towers and the UK has a unkillable queen.

What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?

Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.

Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?

Because she ran out of immortali-tea.

Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".

(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)

What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? Beehive Yourselves!

What does a queen 👸 want on her cookie 🍪?

Royal Icing.

Why is USA so bad at chess

Because they already lost two towers

why can't Americans play chess

because they're missing two towers

What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win

Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.

Wich bees produce milk?

Boobies

Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.

When elsa said let it go, you took to seriously and let go of your hairline

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS”