Comment jokes

I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

Here are some rules to make a good joke:

1: Don't say “my life.”

2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).

A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."

So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.

1 like = 1 kid in my oven. I'm trying to get followers and comments, please.

Turn the comments into a kindergarten fight.

So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"

The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".

Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."

Friends: comments give reason.

Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."

Day later:

Mom: Let me see your TikTok.

Me: Shows her the video.

Mom: calls suicide.

JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.

Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?

This post will get no comments or likes.

I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job.

Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.

Guys, let's make this post have the most comments on the whole website.

+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.

+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.

+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.

I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."

I came here to laugh.

Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?

Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂

If this post gets 200 likes or comments, I will show up in a MrBeast video.

The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

If someone calls you dirty minded just say:

"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."

Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.