Short jokes
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.
Chuck Norris can drift with a horse.
I ran over an emo yesterday? I wanted to let him see pitch black.
I threw a lamp at an emo? I tried to lighten up his day.
After long consideration, I've decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.
Roses are red, Violets are twisted, You bend over, You're about to get fisted.
Yo mama is so fat, that when I unfollowed her on Instagram, my phone got 1 GB of storage.
Why did the Mexican get put on anxiety meds?
Because of Hispanic attacks.
Who says “white men can't jump?” They certainly did when the twin towers were falling.
I finally stopped drinking for good.
Now I purely drink for evil.
How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?
Why can't you play Uno with Mexicans? They steal all the green cards.
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
I asked my mom where babies come from. She said I came from the adoption center.
What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
You are so ugly, Hello Kitty had to say bye-bye.
"Wanna play the rape game?"
"No!!!!"
"That's the spirit!"
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.