Short jokes

What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?

A 50-year-old piece of meat.

A 12-year-old bun.

Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"

Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?

Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!

It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.

My grandad was shocked to learn that lightning can strike in the same place twice.

I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.

I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.

What's the difference between meat and fish?

If you beat your fish, it'll die.

When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.

Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."

Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.

What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.

He's not really dead, his update failed.

How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.

My father said I'm too reliant on technology.

I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.

KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.

She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.

I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.

What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.