Short jokes

What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.

He's not really dead, his update failed.

KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.

What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."

I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.

She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.

I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.

Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.

Curry.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?

All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.

What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.

She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.

Do you know Imagine Dragons?

Yeah.

Imagine dragon my nuts across your face.

What is the first thing the disabled download on iTunes?

"They see me rolling, they hatin'."

Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.

Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.