Short jokes
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?
So the police can see that he’s white.
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
Roses are red. Violets are too. You better run, I’m following you!
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.
Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger!
I made a 3D game about a depressed, self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
How did the gay girl die? Homicide.
Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.
Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.
Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.
But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.
Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?
Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.