Short jokes
What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?
They both have no way home!
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Did you hear about the new emo pizza? It cuts itself.
My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
I didn't come into the prostitution business...
It came into me.
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave? Buy 1 get 1 free. 😂😂😂😂
Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six, you be the nine.
What's the best haircut?
Chemotherapy.
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
If you think about it, taking candy from a baby is good because candy is bad for babies.
That time when you realize that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...
How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?
Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."
What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?
Cracking open a cold one with the boys.
Why do horses eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?
A: It’s always 90 degrees.
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?
Coldplay.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.