Short jokes
When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.
If you think about it, taking candy from a baby is good because candy is bad for babies.
I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?
Cracking open a cold one with the boys.
Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
Immigration jokes just cross the line.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?
Coldplay.
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
The word "ginger" is just the n-word reorganized.