Short jokes
What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?
They both have no way home!
My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.
I didn't come into the prostitution business...
It came into me.
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?
A: Itβs always 90 degrees.
Why do horses eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave? Buy 1 get 1 free. ππππ
How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."
Teacher: At the end of this ruler is an idiot.
Student: Which end?
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six, you be the nine.
What's the best haircut?
Chemotherapy.
If you think about it, taking candy from a baby is good because candy is bad for babies.
Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?
Coldplay.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."