Short jokes
I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.
What is money called in space?
Star bucks.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?
Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
If you think about it, taking candy from a baby is good because candy is bad for babies.
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?
Cracking open a cold one with the boys.
Slavery is like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all.
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?
A: It’s always 90 degrees.
Why do horses eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.
Teacher: At the end of this ruler is an idiot.
Student: Which end?
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave? Buy 1 get 1 free. 😂😂😂😂
How do women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.