What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
Short Jokes
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Why did Beyonce say "to the left to the left"?
Because women don't have rights.
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
Can't wait to meet you!
So join the Depression family!
We open real soon!
Try best to hold onto sanity!
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?
Coldplay.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
