Short jokes
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.
Why do hospitals have fans?
To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
What did the lungs say to the cigar?
"You take my breath away..."
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."
What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: OOFT.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
3.14% of sailors are...
π-rates.
What is Wacko Jacko's favorite David Bowie song?
"Boys Keep Swinging."
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!