Short jokes
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
Immigration jokes just cross the line.
Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?
She was too young.
3.14% of sailors are...
π-rates.
Why did Trump go to Jeffrey's secret Island?
So he could trump that little bitch!
Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.
What is Wacko Jacko's favorite David Bowie song?
"Boys Keep Swinging."
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!
I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.
Teacher: At the end of this ruler is an idiot.
Student: Which end?