Short jokes
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?
They both have no way home!
Did you hear about the new emo pizza? It cuts itself.
My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.
Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six, you be the nine.
What's the best haircut?
Chemotherapy.
I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.
That time when you realize that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?
Coldplay.
Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
Why did Helen Keller burn her hands?
Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.