Short jokes
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
He hated the Poles.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
Can't wait to meet you!
So join the Depression family!
We open real soon!
Try best to hold onto sanity!
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.
Patient: It runs in the family.
Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
What is the favorite dish in Africa? The empty one.
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?