Short jokes
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
The word "ginger" is just the n-word reorganized.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
Why did Helen Keller burn her hands?
Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
Can't wait to meet you!
So join the Depression family!
We open real soon!
Try best to hold onto sanity!
I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.