Short jokes
I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
Can't wait to meet you!
So join the Depression family!
We open real soon!
Try best to hold onto sanity!
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
Kid: Are you gay?
Me: No, I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.