Short jokes
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
He hated the Poles.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
Can't wait to meet you!
So join the Depression family!
We open real soon!
Try best to hold onto sanity!
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.
Patient: It runs in the family.
Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.