Atom Jokes

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."

An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."

Yo momma so fat, she made up of a lot of atoms.

Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK.

When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?

Did you know when scientists discovered atoms could split, it blew them all away?

A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”

A block of gold walked into a bar. The bartender said, “AU, get out!”

I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"

Sixteen molecules of sodium walk into a bar. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!!

Tell me a joke about sodium.

Na.

you.

Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."

The other asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"

Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" asks the other.

"I'm positive!"

Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?

Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?

So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."

I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.