Short jokes
When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we've all kicked a pregnant woman before we were even born.
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."
I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.
A mosquito with a Mario hat on flies on you saying, "It's-a me, Malario!"
What do gay people and mice have in common?
They both hate pussy cats!
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?
Because every time they scan, it scans twice.
Why did the heterosexual man put a mask on his cock to protect himself from COVID? Silly boy.
1 like = 1 kid in my oven. I'm trying to get followers and comments, please.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.