Short jokes
Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we've all kicked a pregnant woman before we were even born.
You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.
I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.
What's the difference between you and Hitler?
Hitler knew when to kill himself.
A mosquito with a Mario hat on flies on you saying, "It's-a me, Malario!"
Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.
(She's blind and deaf)
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
1 like = 1 kid in my oven. I'm trying to get followers and comments, please.
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?
Because every time they scan, it scans twice.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.
Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."
I called the rape advice line last night. Turns out it's just for victims.