Short jokes
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?
Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.
Canada is the Keanu Reeves of countries. Too bad the US is the Kanye West of countries instead of the Dolly Parton of countries.
What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?
"Does this come with anything?"
Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.
Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
What’s a German’s favorite drink? Orange Jews. Hundred percent concentrated.
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
What the fluff happened to this website?
What’s a rapper’s favorite EXERCISE?
Flexin’.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was Spanish for blowjob.
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.