Short jokes

All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.

The only thing brighter than my cuteness is the fire on the Twin Towers.

What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.

Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*

Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!

This category is messed up.

My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."

What happens when you put a baby in a blender?

The baby is a cherry smoothie.

The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?

The emo girl still bleeds.

Your hairline is so bad man, I gave your doctor a breathalyzer.

If you are what you eat, then I’m black.

Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!

My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.

Have a guess who came crawling back?

I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.

Just to test their patients.

You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."

What might an aborted child want for Christmas?

..... a home that isn't a bin.