Short jokes
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.
These Afghanistan people suck at Jenga.
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
What do you call a bald person on fire?
A fried egg.
When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.
What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?
At least the mountain has two hills.
What do super fancy music conductors wear?
A Louis baton.
I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage.
I hit on the Twin Towers. They were hot.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.
The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"
What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?
Sex worker.
If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel?
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Nah! You're so poor, you can't afford free stuff!
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?