Short jokes
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
"Hey, you! Why are you so serious?"
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.
If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.
If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
kapteyn = captain
Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.
Q: I'm a famous athlete and I've got a lot of fans.
A: Is that why I never see you sweat?
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
An orphan went on a game show.
The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."
Ready when you are, KK.
I told her "I love you." She said, "I love me too."
My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
What does NASA stand for?
Need a star A.S.A.P.!