Short jokes
What's common between a feminist and a knife?
They both stay in the kitchen.
What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?
Through my arm.
What starts with F and ends with uck? Firetruck, what were you thinking?
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?
Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."
But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
Ugh... I hate Anons so much, they're annoying as fuck.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
- Hey, are you single?
- No, I'm album.
The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.
What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?
The Chinese kid has a home.
What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?
The bench can support its family.