Short jokes
We must start a propaganda for baked beans.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
How do you kill a retard?
Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
His dick was stuck in the chicken.
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
Rip Juice WRLD.