Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

Fatty and skinny were in a bed. Fatty rolled over and skinny was dead.

What’s stephen hawkins favorite song?

-They see me rolling.

Now that Stephen Hawking is dead the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.

You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll

What do you call a gay drive by? A fruit roll up.

How did stephen hawking die?

He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall

I don’t always roll a joint, but when I do it’s my ankle.

How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Running, JK rolling!

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies she sneaks candy in her fat rolls.

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”

What’s Stephen Hawking’s favourite band? The Rolling Stones.

Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!

When a asteroid is coming to kill us all: 98.9% of the population: OMG WERE ALL GONNA DIE 1% of the population: eh… I neber had any friends anyway. Alia: ROLL THE INTRO

What’s better then sex with your 12 year old sister?

Rolling her over and pretending it’s your 10 year old brother

Why did the carrot roll down the hill? Because he couldn’t stop his wheelchair

Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?

A: The honor roll

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you’re an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you’re a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

It’s a cool place and they say it gets colder You’re bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water’s getting warm so you might as well swim My world’s on fire. How about yours? That’s the way I like it and I’ll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

Women are like rolls of toilet paper they are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot and they deal with a lot of s##t.

Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair. … she likes to rock And roll lol