Short jokes
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
The Blonde got a Ph.D.?
Yeah, like that would ever happen.
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
What's a bonus of being an orphan?
You can't get homework.
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
Hello, everybody, it's me, Mariplier, and today I'm going to be balling at Freddy's!
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? 🚲
What did the Pokemon lover say when he got to the shoe store?
I have to Pikashoe.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange who?
Orange glad I didn’t say banana. Hahaha, you’re right, I hate that guy!
When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.
What do you call a white man farting? "British Gas."
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
What type of bow can't be tied?
Rainbow.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
Women’s rights.
Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.
What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, flags big plus.