Short jokes
Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.
They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.
Why do orphans hate hide and seek?
Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.
Q: What do gay horses say?
A: "Geigh!"
10/7 is probably a spinoff of 9/11.
You can't convince me otherwise.
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.
My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer too long!
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.