What's got 9 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard.
Short Jokes
Why did Princess Di cross the road?
Momentum.
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
"Knock Knock..."
"Who's There?"
"Kenya"
"Kenya who?"
"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
What's a car's favorite place to hang out?
A CARnival!
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
Please help me... I’m being held captive by Carl Wheezer.
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- The doorbell repairer.
Think like a proton--stay positive!
How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He read the weather forecast.
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
I got shot once. Now I'm holey.
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
