Short jokes

Short jokes

Outlaw

What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?

Outlaws are wanted :)

Victim

I had sex with twins. Well, I think it was twins. All my rage victims look alike.

Priest

If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.

Bartender

My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!

Mom

Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.

Kid

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

Ass

When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."

Dream

It would have been better if Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream.

You know, for his sake.

Gun

So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."

Dream

Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?

Mama

Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.

West

These are the reasons the West will fall. Also, men's rights are f***ing stupid if men keep voting for rich whites!

Emo

Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.