Short jokes
What’s a cow’s favorite piece of furniture?
The cowch (couch).
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
Why do you want me?
Cus u like me...
What do you mean?
You love me.
No.
Look down.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
Lawrence in maths ;)
How's it going @#$!
What was the first man made out of? Adams! (Atoms)
Did you hear about the Mormons?
What is the thirstiest ocean in the world?
The Gulf of Mexico lol!
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
PORNHUB
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
Think like a proton--stay positive!
Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.
He still is a kid.
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.