Short jokes
What do orphans need in order to mail letters?
Food stamps.
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
What did the sun say to the Earth?
"Am I hot?"
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Guess who I saw at school today?
Everyone I looked at. loooooooool
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?
They both went down.
An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?
"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.
Why?
The kid had no legs.
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.