Short jokes
It's okay, you had socks on :)
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can’t defeat cancer!
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said, "Of corpse!"
What are intelligent people in the US called?
"Tourist."
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)
Why did Joe Biden go to the hospital? Because he couldn't stop Putin.
What the fuck is wrong with people?
Omnom.
How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?
Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.
Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.
Friend: I don't know.
Me: A black market.
I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.
"Hee hee touch my pp."
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"
Bro, I love hanging out with white people, it's either we play Yahtzee, or we playin' Nazi.
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.