Doorbell jokes
Why did the scientist want to take off his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win the no-bell prize.
Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?
Because it got everybody's pokes!
A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
"Knock knock."
Orphan: "Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? You said you would never forget.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
How do you name an Asian child?
Ring the doorbell.
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. Depression who? Depression you!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Kid.""Kid who?""Kidnap you!"
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."
The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.
Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not your dad?"
What do you call a door that bells? A doorbell.
What does the door say to the doorbell?
The door said: "You dingus!"