Why are we still fighting in darkness?
"Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."
Short Jokes
What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂
You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.
I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?
The tree leaves them hanging.
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
What instrument do orphans play?
The sax alone.
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.
What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?
"Why not you stand up for yourself?"
What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
How do you kill time?
Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
