Short jokes
What did the helicopter say?
Helicopter: "Kobe!"
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
How is an orphan like a boomerang?
They always come back!
I was boiling some water and said, "Water, you will be mist!"
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Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.
Want to know why some astronomers are gay?
It’s because they want to be in Uranus.
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Two Asians walked into a strip club and they went to a cashier. They put in their names: her name was He Gay and his name was Shi A Ho.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.
What do you call anal rape?
Ass cream.
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.