Short jokes
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Without other people's dicks in it.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
What did the pimp order at the Chinese restaurant?
He ordered some cock-bang-ho.
What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?
They both went down.
What do you call a Pakie with a wooden leg?
Shit on a stick.
A scientist discovered water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:
Orphan: No Way Home.
Hears a clean joke: My horse got muddy, so I gave him a bubble bath.
Now hears a dirty joke: Bubbles is the horse next door.
Normal people: I'm my own nationality.
Michael Jackson: Click here to change nationality.
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.