Short jokes
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Dad!
Dad who?
*Silence*
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
Two's company, cheese a crowd!
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
I like unicorns.
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.
Celebrating Mother's Day is confusing, says my cousin.
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't look in my backyard, or I will come for you.
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.