Short jokes

How many wives does Santa have?

Ho Ho Ho!

What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.

What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?

I don't have a girlfriend.

Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

When someone says, "Jesus," I say, "Bitch, where?"

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the idiot's house.

Knock knock?

Who's there?

The chicken!

Why did the midget not go to bed?

He couldn't reach the bed.

What do you call a retarded fruit?

Mentally in-pear-ed.

What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.

Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?

Because its head is so far away from its body.

What is Trump's favorite snack?

Cheetos.

(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)

Adam and Eve had sex. It was paradise.

"Wheel" all miss him, right?

Three Nazis walk into a bar.

Which president has never gone to jail?

Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?

Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.

Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

I’m a clown...

And everyone knows.

I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.

I need to fuck an emo girl... those bitches are limited edition!