Short jokes
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
What is my most popular side of myself?
Suicide.
Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.
Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
What's the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
Just give me my money (clap clap clap).
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?
So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.