Short jokes
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
Roses are red, I reload fast...
I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!
Uranus is a gas giant.
Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
What do you call anal rape?
Ass cream.
Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.