A German went to France for a holiday and here is the scene. French border staff asked, "Occupation?" The German replied, "No, no, no, just visiting."
Time to go to New York to visit the twin towers.
They’re already getting closer
What are intelligent people in the US called??
"Tourist".
I went to pen island for vacation this summer, there were a lot of bones
what is the difference between a cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist? One lapses into french, the other frenchs into laps.
An american is touring the Soviet union. A russian takes him to a school so he can see what its like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The american asks whats wrong and he cries "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks. This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied. This is your clock. It move 3 times because you lied 3 times i asked where is President trumps clock. he said it was at the equator. Spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true
How do you fit 27 New Zealand Tourists in a 15 seater bus? Simple. All in the ashtray.
Las Vegas has a new 550 foot tall ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.
What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom. One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says"You ok down there?" The other tourist says"Can't i just rest in peace?!"
Man is out west driving and on the edge of town comes across a tourist stand and sitting in front is with an Indian chief right out of central casting. Dour look, full headdress, a glass jar and a sign that says "Indian chief know all! $5". So the fellow's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the chief, puts $5 in the jar and asks "What did I have for breakfast on this day 10 years ago?". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Hmmm eggs. You had eggs!". "Eggs?" shouts the guy "Everybody has eggs! I've been had!" throws his hands in the air and leaves in a huff.
Ten years on, as fate would have it the fellow has occasion to be driving through the same town and sure enough he comes across the same stand, Indian chief, sign and jar. So he stops the car and saunters across the road, goes up to the chief like a smart-ass, holds up his hand and says "How". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Poached".
