Short jokes
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
Battery 1%.
I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.
789.
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
It's not Minecraft.
It's Ourcraft!
I see a worm. Oh, no, it's just your hairline!
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
Don't worry, the forehead jokes were recommended just like your hairline.
What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?
The hairline is way straighter.
What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.
Sydney has a fat pair of spammy flaps that smell of fish 🎣.
Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.
Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
Erectile dysfunction.
Some people put zodiacs on everything.
They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.