Short jokes
I don't even know why to joke about America, it's a joke itself TO THE FUCKING EARTH!
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.
Jesus is a rock music fan.
Because he likes Nine Inch Nails.
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
What does a priest and time have in common? They're both predators.
Yo Mama so fat that when she took a photo of herself to get it printed out, it took 15 years to finish!
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?
Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?
A gay guy that’s straight!
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?
Poke me, mon.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
I'm so lonely, even the alphabet says "Hi."
JK.