Short jokes
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
Fuck y'all, orphan lives matter!
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!
What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?
“Is It In?”
Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.
The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
There was a guy how had a stroke, eh.
He's all right.
What do French ducks say?
Quoi quoi.
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.
My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.
If museums are full of dead things...
Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.