Short jokes
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?
Because they are good at fingering A minor.
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
Happy New Year! 🍆🍑🍆🍑
When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"
I told my friends that are gay that my hairline's straighter than he will ever be.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because he was tired of waiting for the milk.
Hitler was the most handsome man alive.
Everyone died for him.
Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...
Oh wait...
If you say "slay" in my comments I will follow all of you lmao who are signed in.
My ex-friends are depressed. Their names are Kaitlyn and Ava.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!
Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!